someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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