Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
