Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
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