i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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