Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
