Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
