Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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