OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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