You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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