And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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