also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
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Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
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No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
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