Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Testing the emergency boobs hotline