i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
