And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
