you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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