okay pat passed out under dana's car
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
