Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize