she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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