idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize