Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
