Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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