You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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