she was so not down for the gang bang
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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