No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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