She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
