I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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