I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
