We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
