I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
