Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
