I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
