I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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