I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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