All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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