and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
