god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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