You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
