Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
