batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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