in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
