Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
