And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
