i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
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tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
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Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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