Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
