I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
he just fucked me for my cheese.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
