school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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