i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
