She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
