I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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