Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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