I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
