I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
