I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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