Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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