: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
