God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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