It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
