I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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