just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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