dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
