WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
