she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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