Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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