I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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