walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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